Horny and Bored

I'm currently at work. I have the office to myself and am ridiculously horny. I guess I'll answer some comments left on previous posts.

Cunning Linguist said he "found it hard to believe that a young willing woman is having this much difficulty finding someone to get off with."

Well, here's the thing. I don't have the money to meet people at a motel, nor do I have the time to drive to meet a person that is more than 20 minutes or so away. It's unfortunate, but most the of the men in the area that I have talked to off Web sites live either too far away or just aren't interested in a girl who is a little overweight. I have tried several different Web sites, though not the ones you have suggested. I'll look into those when I have a bit more free time on my hands.

Johnr69xxx has been incredibly supportive and gives lovely compliments. I truly appreciate it. He asked me if anything had happened over the holidays, and unfortunately nothing did. I worked until Christmas Eve and then had two days off before working until New Year's Eve. And since he likes my breasts so much, I'll endeavor to post few more pictures when I am not at work.

If ever I post a picture that you like you may download it and use it for your pleasure. I assure you I don't mind. :)

Well, I should probably get back to work and at least try to do some of the little things that don't have to be done today so I am ahead for the week.

Musings

It's been a while since I've posted anything. Life has gotten crazy. Between work, school and family stuff, I've been unable to do much in the way of getting to know people.

I've been chatting with a couple people off xtube, but nothing has really panned out recently. J. seems the most promising, but his bad grammar and lack of compromise irks me. If we cannot agree to about you not taking my picture while we have sex, then there isn't going to be any sex. That isn't hard to understand, I don't think.

Another guy, C., he's chill, but married. And I would prefer not to be apart of adultery. If you're separated, that's one thing, but if you're clearly attached, that's something else.

Other than that, I masturbate when I can, which hasn't been all that often recently.

I think largely a problem I have is that no one in my immediate area is readily available. I don't have the time to drive places, or meet up at hotels.

I guess I should be less picky, but I think a girl should have some standards at least.

Irritations

So S. has decided he isn't going to be able to meet me. I'm furious. I had a feeling he wasn't going to especially after the way he's been ignoring me on messenger. I guess fate likes fucking with me. Maybe it's God's way of telling me I need to get my act together and stop worrying about sex so much and instead focus on my future. Either way, whatever.

Wanton Woman

So, it's official... I have become even more wanton that I already was. Not only am I about to meet someone a week from tomorrow, but I am working on trying to meet another man that same weekend. I hope I can't walk straight.

The first man, S., really wants to cum in my pussy. Not only would he be my first, but he wants to complete one of my biggest fetishes. I'm so nervous, but I'm also excited. S. seems like he's a good guy and seems to have upstanding qualities. However, I'm a little annoyed at the fact he has horrible grammar and spelling. I think that's just the editor in me, though. I'm also annoyed at the fact he's never sent me any real pictures of himself. I've got one, but it's hard to see. I've never seen his cock and I would really like to. But he's been incredibly invasive about taking pictures of himself and rarely wants to talk dirty.

The second man, C., I'm incredibly excited about. He's in an open marriage and has sent some amazingly sexy pics of himself. I'm excited about him because not only is he sexy, but he's also into talking dirty to me and making sure I get off. He's into taking requests for pictures and definitely willing to meet up when both our schedules will allow for it.

Now, there's also E. He doesn't live in the same state as me, but he's definitely a most promising partner. I really believe I have a submissive streak in me 10 miles long and he's more than willing to be my Dom. He's into sharing me with other men, which I'm not sure about yet, but he loves the fact I love creampies, getting my nipples abused, and even wax play. He accepts the fact I won't do anal. E. is quite possibly perfect for me, except I don't know what he looks like, which could pose a problem. He said when he starts to trust me more that he'll send more photos, but I'm impatient and I want to see more of him now. :( Oh well...

I've just had a thought about S... If he doesn't start talking to me more then I may not be able to meet him. I'm tired of being the one who always initiates stuff with him. Be the man and initiate something. I understand your daughter is your life, but please talk to me about more than just her. If you're looking to attract someone that is not the way to do it. And just now, I IMed him and he hasn't answered me back. Ugh! If you want to fuck me then you need to talk to me. >:(

Giving Up, Starting Something new

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Annoyed

I haven't talked to P. in two weeks. While this isn't incredibly rare, it is when it is coming from him. I hope things are going all right for him, but I am so freaking horny it's ridiculous. I don't think I'll be meeting with him any time soon, if ever. There has been too many games played by both sides.

I'm antsy, though and wish he would just reply back with a message that things are all right with him and that he's no longer interested, or if he is still interested and is just too busy at the moment to do anything about it right now.

Postponed

P. and I are playing a version of phone tag. I have not heard from him since he cancelled on me last Friday and I'm beginning to think he just got my hopes up to show me how he felt after I had canceled on him so many times. It doesn't look as if I'll be meeting with him.

I'm actually disappointed because he is the only person I was interested in that I found on different Web sites. I know he's for real because I've sucked his cock before. So it isn't a scam. He literally lives 20 minutes from me, depending on traffic. I've even got his address now but I'm not a creeper and have yet to make the drive to his place.

I don't think we'll be able to meet within the next two weeks either because he will no longer have the house to himself since his son will be home for the holidays. And I will not have sex with him at a hotel. I find it to be slightly trashy if it isn't with something who you are completely romantically linked with.

Like for instance, when I sucked P. off twice in one night, we were at a seedy motel and it was literally a half hour or so after I had met him. I felt disgusting afterward. I was upset with myself because I had just met him and I really hadn't been prepared to go to a hotel with him. I have sucked off one other older man in his house, which was disgustingly full of junk and it took him forever to get off and he liked anal play.

I do not do anal or anything to do with the anus. I think if others like it, that's fine. But I don't like it and am unwilling to try it.

I'm just frustrated because I'm so horny and I have no one to get off with.

Another Cancellation

I guess it's only fair after having canceled on P. so many times that he cancel on me yesterday. We were set to meet when he got home from his trip and I had made all the special efforts to get ready... I had shaven my pussy and made sure I was extra clean and he said that he had to cancel. I was so primed and ready that it really sort of hurt to not get my lust satiated. Oh well... I guess things happen. I think we're tentatively set for next Wednesday now. I am hoping hat masturbation will tide me over until then. Sigh. I was so excited for yesterday and then it was a huge let down... I hope that isn't the way he usually felt when I would cancel 'cause that just isn't a good feeling.

Waiting Game

I am still waiting on pins and needles for P. to get home from his vacation. He's also supposed to send me pictures. Unfortunately, I am not a patient person and so I've been masturbating more and more while looking at pictures of his pretty cock that I have and waiting even more impatiently for the pictures he's supposed to send me.

It sucks that I finally got up the guts to meet with P. and he's out of town and will be until at least 2 weeks after I contacted him. It sucks.

The only good side to P. being gone right now is that he's gone while I am on the rag. I just get so freaking horny at this time of the month that I really wish I could suck his cock and have him cum in my mouth.

Waiting sucks.

And I'm back in the game...

I'm talking to P. again. I've been masturbating to his pictures and fantasizing that he is taking my virginity.

And even though P. doesn't know I'm a virgin, I really think that his age will lend to the experience. P. is 52 and even though he's nearly 30 years older than me, I find him to be attractive. I look forward to when he gets home from his business trip so I can suck his cock and drink down his spunk. I also look forward to whatever reaming he is going to give me. I'm sure it's going to be a hard one because I've been such a cock tease for the past year or more. He said he understood and that he looked forward to still getting together.

Until he gets back, though, I have to be content with his pictures. We're going to exchange some new ones so that we each have some fresh masturbation material. Just thinking about it makes me wet with anticipation. I'm not in love with P. by any stretch of the imagination, but I am definitely in lust with him.

One Learns New Things When The Power Goes Out

And learn new things I did.

As is customary when the lights go out, I lit candles. When I was carrying one particular candle to another room of the house, some of the melted wax dripped onto my fingers. And I got the idea to try it on my nipples, which are uberly sensitive in their own right.

And wow, did it feel good. It burned just the right amount and while it was hard to drip the wax onto myself and then take a picture of it, I was able to do it. If you look closely at the picture you can see the hot wax still cooling across my nipples.

It was a glorious feeling. And even now, after I have peeled away the wax, my nipples are still tingling and it's an incredibly arousing feeling.

It's been a slow summer

And it's shaping up to be a slow fall.

I have stopped masturbating as much as I had been. I also haven't spoken to P. in over a month. I'm not distressed by this, but I feel bad I strung him along as long as I did. Especially when I don't know if I was ever going to allow him to have sex with me. Unfortunately, I'm still a virgin and I think I'll probably be one for a while more.

With everything building up, I'm going to just stick to masturbating because I am not emotionally ready to have some guy I'm not tied to take my virginity.

I'm lame, and shameful, but that's life, I guess.

Indecisiveness and Porn

Right now my nipples are ridiculously tight and I'm horny as hell. Unfortunately, I have no way to let off some steam as I have already masturbated to the point of pain today.

I have been in contact with P. again despite the fact I told myself I should drop him like a hot potato. I guess I don't know what I'm going to do. Though I'll probably continue to string him along for a bit before I let him know for sure that I do not want to have sex with him. He still doesn't know I'm a virgin and I'm reluctant to tell him because with all of my constant teasing I act like a huge tart. But, really, it's all a bunch of hot air.

I've been watching a lot of porn lately. The videos that seem to really get my juices flowing all star this one older man having sex with 18 to 25 year old women. I don't find the man attractive, but I find the way he treats the women enticing and wish that I could have someone treat me like that. Too bad I'm too dysfunctional to be so outgoing as to go for a casting call. Needless to say, I do not have the body for it and probably never will since I haven't been able to lose weight in over four months.

I wish I had a way to let off his extra hormonal energy. Too bad I rubbed myself raw earlier otherwise I would go for that. If anyone has any suggestions, I am open to them.

Not gonna meet, not gonna lose virginity

I think I am going to figure out a way to tell P. that I am no longer interested in meeting him in person. I can live with being a virgin until I meet someone else. I just feel wrong and squicked when I think of meeting him in person.

I have been making excuses and leading him on for too long now. I'm more content masturbating than I am with the thought of meeting P. in person. I just don't know what to say. My excuses have been lame and unoriginal.

Who knows, maybe I'll be like that Boyle lady and be a 40 y.o virgin. I have at least kissed three men. And when I say men, I mean it. They were all at least 50 years old, if not older. I'm so gross.

No Meeting, Yet(?)

So I have not yet been to visit P. Our date for Tuesday had to be cancelled because of various real life happenings. Surprisingly enough, I'm not disappointed that our meeting was cancelled. I think this is because I feel as if I am in over my head. I want to have sex, but I am unsure if I am ready. So instead, I spend the day with my fingers in my pussy and watching other girls get fucked and as they suck cocks.

I had some interesting conversations at work yesterday about sex, homosexuality, and why the male and female genitalia is so gross. My friend said she decided at a young age that she was a lesbian because she finds penises to be gross. She doesn't like the way they squirt. It squicks her. My other friend said that sex in general is actually pretty gross when you think about, though during the act itself she has a lot of fun. She said that the sweat and the mixing of fluids is disgusting and incredibly dirty. And that while it may seem fun at the time, you really should shower and not think about what you just did afterward.

I guess, in the end, that I am nervous about meeting P. I guess that I really don't want to meet him, and I've just been this horrendous cock tease.

The Feeling is Imminent

I exchanged a lengthy conversation with P. (the older man I have been chatting with) and we have decided to meet on Tuesday around 10 a.m. at a local motel that rents out "nap rooms." I am nervous, but I haven't let him know that.

He spent the evening telling me how he wanted to pound my pussy after ripping my clothes off me. Sounds like a horrid, bodice-ripper novel; however, I'm sure with the way our conversations have been leaving him to utilize his hand quite often that he definitely feels that way. He also says, "You have kept me waiting so long you need to be taught a lesson.... hehe... though not a terribly unpleasant one...."

He also told me he is interested in roll playing, but said his favorite scenario depends on mine. "I don't mean that to sound like a cop out but both parties need to be comfortable and excited by it."

I think this is true. He's offered to teach me about being submissive, though he says he can be either dominant or submissive. I think I would like to be bossed around sexually mainly because I have to be in control everywhere else.

I am hoping he can properly abuse my nipples, though, because I have figured out that if I abuse my nipples in just the right way I drip like a faucet. He's offered, and I hope he can live up to whatever oddball fantasy I have in my head.

The only thing I am sure of, aside for the fact I hope I don't flake on this meeting, is that he brings the condoms and is prepared to teach me and allow me to leave for work by 1:30. We'll see, though.

I watch what I watch, and I am not ashamed

I watch a lot of porn. As a general rule I only watch it when my bedroom door is shut and I have a blanket covering me so I can let my hands trail over my breasts and in between my legs. However, lately I have become more bold and have begun to leave the door open a crack when I either read erotica or watch the different porn Web sites I have found.

This post is more about to what type of porn I watch and the type of erotica I read. I watch porn that includes an older man with a young girl, generally in her teens. And I have a thing for watching creampies, though I have never had one they fascinate me. I read erotica with the theme of an older fatherly/grandfatherly/teacher figure taking advantage of young girls, as well.

It's a common theme for me. I guess the thought of being with an older man has always fascinated me and having him give me a creampie would be a bonus. And watching the videos and reading about it turns me on more than anything. And I'm wet just thinking about it.

The older man I have been in contact with texted me today and asked for me to send him more pictures to tide him over until we're able to meet in person. I have two of his cock—one is just of him hard and the other shows his cock right after he came. I specifically asked for the second one. And I masturbate to both pictures frequently.

I have been debating whether or not I want him to bring a camera to our meeting so he can take pictures of his condom-clad cock entering my pussy or my lips wrapped around his cock while I fellate him. Not that any of that matters until I decide when I am actually going to meet with him.

The Frustrated Virgin

Originally, I was unsure of what to write about for my inaugural post; however, I have decided to start with the fact I am still a virgin—albeit an extremely sexually frustrated one.

I am constantly aroused. Unfortunately, I am unsure of what sets me off, but the littlest things can get my pussy wet. And the fragrance that occurs because of this is pleasant, which quite possibly makes me even more aroused.

At 22, I am unsure if I want to lose my virginity yet. Though nothing especially pressing stopping me. I do have someone who is interested in me. He's in his forties and while it's flattering he is interested in me sexually, there is little chemistry elsewhere. The 20 year age difference doesn't bother me at all. In fact, I'm quite apt to be more attracted to older men than I am to younger ones. I think it's the experience that I like. I think my biggest issue with him is that I would prefer not to meet in a hotel room and he has a son not much younger than myself that lives at home. My house is not an option because I have roommates that never leave and I am not an exhibitionist.

So I guess until such a time that I can actually get some action I am stuck masturbating. And I masturbate. A lot. I probably masturbate more often than the average person. Any time I am laying in my bed I have one hand massaging my pussy and one hand massaging my breasts or pinching my nipples.

So here's the first post of my muddled musings and we'll see where this takes me.