It's been a slow summer

And it's shaping up to be a slow fall.

I have stopped masturbating as much as I had been. I also haven't spoken to P. in over a month. I'm not distressed by this, but I feel bad I strung him along as long as I did. Especially when I don't know if I was ever going to allow him to have sex with me. Unfortunately, I'm still a virgin and I think I'll probably be one for a while more.

With everything building up, I'm going to just stick to masturbating because I am not emotionally ready to have some guy I'm not tied to take my virginity.

I'm lame, and shameful, but that's life, I guess.